What makes some people incapable of apologizing even when they're clearly in the wrong?
People who cannot apologize often have deep feelings of low self-worth.When their delicate ego(自我) cannot absorb the blow of admitting they were wrong,their defense mechanisms kick in—they may place blame and even argue about basic facts to prevent the threat of having to lower themselves by offering an apology.
Unfortunately,many of us mistakenly interpret these people's defensiveness as a sign of psychological strength.That's because outwardly they appear to be tough individuals who refuse to back down.But this doesn't show that they're strong—it shows that they're weak.
Admitting that we're wrong is emotionally uncomfortable and painful to our sense of self.In order to take responsibility and apologize,our self-worth needs to be strong enough to absorb that discomfort.Indeed,if our self-worth is higher and more stable,we can tolerate the temporary discomfort that such an admission involves—without the walls around our ego falling down.
But if our self-worth is seemingly high but actually breakable,that discomfort can go through our defensive walls and score a direct hit to our ego.Indeed,the more fixed one's defense mechanisms are,the more delicate the ego they're protecting.
The mistake we often make when faced with someone who's habitually incapable of apologizing is to become angry and try to win our argument with them.But the sad reality is that we can never win.In these situations,the best we can do is make our points as calmly and as convincingly as we can and then disengage from the argument when it becomes unproductive—like when they disagree with the facts,come up with silly excuses or turn to mean remarks.
(1)Why can't some people apologize?
Because they often have deep feelings of low self-worth.
Because they often have deep feelings of low self-worth.
(2)What do many people mistakenly think of a non-apologizer's defensiveness?They think of it as a sign of psychological strength.
They think of it as a sign of psychological strength.
(3)Please decide which part is false in the following statement,then underline it and explain why.
?When you are trying to win an argument with a non-apologizer,the best way is to express your anger and make your point as calmly and convincingly as possible.When you are trying to win an argument with a non-apologizer,the best way is to make your point as calmly and convincingly as possible and then disengage from the argument when it becomes unproductive.
When you are trying to win an argument with a non-apologizer,the best way is to make your point as calmly and convincingly as possible and then disengage from the argument when it becomes unproductive.
(4)In addition to what is mentioned in the passage,what else can you do if your friend refuses to apologize to you? (In about 40 words)If they are not friends you interact with regularly,you can consider minimizing contact with them.But if they are close connections,you can accept their behavior and try to make your peace with them.
If they are not friends you interact with regularly,you can consider minimizing contact with them.But if they are close connections,you can accept their behavior and try to make your peace with them.